The Tooth Fairy Issues Refunds

I remember being six or seven and losing a tooth. I put my tooth under the pillow and the following morning, I awoke to find a Dick Tracy toy (of one of the minor villains. I think the one with the tall forehead). I played with that toy for an entire day. I loved that toy for an entire day. However, I was a little rough it and its arm broke. I said to myself, “I’ll put it under my bed and The Tooth Fairy will obviously come and replace it.” So I put the Dick Tracy toy under my pillow, in the original package, and lo and behold the following morning, I discovered it was still there.

Apparently, The Tooth Fairy has a "no-refund policy". I was stuck with a toy with a broken arm. This was how I discovered The Tooth Fairy wasn’t real. If The Tooth Fairy wanted to give me a toy instead of cash that was fine, but she shouldn’t have given me a defective one whose arm was going to break easily. If the toy did break it seemed reasonable that she should at least replace it with a toy of equal or lesser value. I would have gladly taken a Hot Wheel's or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toy instead of having a Dick Tracy toy with only one working arm. Apparently, The Tooth Fairy didn’t share my line of reasoning.

I asked my mother “Why didn’t The Tooth Fairy replace the toy?” – “Maybe she felt like you should treat your toys better. That if she got you another toy you’d only break that one like you did this one.” – “It’s not fair.” - “Life’s not fair. Why should The Tooth Fairy be any different?” I walked away after that. What could I reply? What can anyone say to that? I tried again that very night. I put the toy under my pillow. The following morning I found a five dollar bill there. I was overjoyed though kind of wondering if the Tooth Fairy was cheapskate. I appreciated her giving me a toy for my tooth but she did she have to buy the cheapest one?

I eventually told my parents what The Tooth Fairy did. I was obviously happy and my parents were glad that I was. I said, “I betcha you, I’ll get another five dollars tonight. I’ll just break one of my other toys I don’t like anymore and leave it under my pillow.” Genius idea. My parents didn't agree. One of them said, “You shouldn’t push your luck.” I ignored my parent’s suggestion and later that day proceeded to tear the arm off another toy. This, luckily, was a toy whose arm could easily be reattached once detached. I put the amputated toy under the pillow. The following morning I found the toy was gone, but it had been replaced with a dime, which was $4.90 less than I was expecting. Don’t push your luck.