The following probably never happened. And by probably I mean it never did in any way, but it's fun to pretend. After King John signed the Magna Carta in 1215 granting nobles rights, they never possessed Robin Hood threw a ninja star into King John's head while Little John hurled a katana into a nearby Sheriff of Nottingham, who was resurrected from the dead purely for this occasion. In fact, the reanimated Sheriff of Nottingham was standing next to King John while he signed the immensely important document in British history. So important was this document that a copy, replica extraordinaire, of it is featured on display at the National Archives. Which is impressive considering the document granted British nobles unheard of rights and removes the yoke of arbitrary rule without some measure of checks & balances that most Western societies enjoy today. King John, the same one spoken of in the legends of Robin Hood (that later gave to the rich and gave to the poor (which considering the status of his estate during the events mentioned in the tale while King John was ruling in proxy for an abstenia King Richard, meant that Robin Hood must have given to himself as well because he was of the "negative cash flow persuasion"). It seems to be a fair interpretation of the legend. King John never seemed to be able to catch a break. Anthony Hopkins played your brother Richard in a movie yet who played you? Nigel Terry. Who's Nigel Terry? Exactly, my point. O King John, Poor Lackland, pitiful Softsword our hearts pour out to you indeed for such mercy is justified by the historical context. In every version of Robin Hood, you're the bad guy but why. Then again maybe it was you're encounters with Robin Hood, pre-ninja star, that made you change your mind when it came time to sign the magna carta.
In the story of Robin Hood a decree King John made somehow strips him of his property and title. He was Robin of Locksley now he's just Robin. So he takes to the streets forms a gang of merry men, and they decide to redistribute the wealth generated by excessive fines and levies to feed the power presumably liberating them from hunger and other pangs of poverty. Clearly, Robin Hood was no fan of supply-side economic theory it would seem. Robin Hood would probably say to Calvi9n Coolidge, "Eat lead Coolidge" or "speak this Reagen" because he fumbled the line after he realized that he couldn't figure out a cool thing to say to Reagen because he already said the coolest thing he could think up to Calvin Coolidge already. He writes down in a journal, "Note to self: Next time I demonstrate my cool, dry wit to the leader of a country nearly a thousand years henceforth espoused an economic theory that is incompatible with my own philosophical agenda. I must come up with more than one cool expression to say to them. Also, note to self: remember to buy a jar of mayonnaise for Friar Tuck. Remember to make sure it's organic because John's going to want some of that too, but he won't eat anything not organic." One must have standards. We understand, John. We understand." There's a King John and a Little John. That does make the story a little confusing especially considering that the King is weak and little. However, Little John is a huge behemoth of a man who eats Rhino for breakfast and a whole Lamb for desert. He uses pikes for tooth picks. John tried to take over in the 90s - the 1190s while his brother Richard was fighting in The Third Crusade. In fact, he almost succeeded but presumably failed because of Robin of Locksely's quiver. However, twenty years later John got to be king and in being so he signed the Magna Carta after a very successful rebellion forced his hand to move the quill and make the 'x' that tremors throughout history. Then after King John signed it, he said, "Alright? Are you all happy now? I signed it. I hope you enjoy your vinegar flavored victory. I hope your gall tastes very good." It was at that precise moment when Robin Hood threw the ninja star. "Yeah," Robin Hood said as Little John was releasing the katana on The Sheriff of Nottingham, "It tastes pretty, pretty good."
In the story of Robin Hood a decree King John made somehow strips him of his property and title. He was Robin of Locksley now he's just Robin. So he takes to the streets forms a gang of merry men, and they decide to redistribute the wealth generated by excessive fines and levies to feed the power presumably liberating them from hunger and other pangs of poverty. Clearly, Robin Hood was no fan of supply-side economic theory it would seem. Robin Hood would probably say to Calvi9n Coolidge, "Eat lead Coolidge" or "speak this Reagen" because he fumbled the line after he realized that he couldn't figure out a cool thing to say to Reagen because he already said the coolest thing he could think up to Calvin Coolidge already. He writes down in a journal, "Note to self: Next time I demonstrate my cool, dry wit to the leader of a country nearly a thousand years henceforth espoused an economic theory that is incompatible with my own philosophical agenda. I must come up with more than one cool expression to say to them. Also, note to self: remember to buy a jar of mayonnaise for Friar Tuck. Remember to make sure it's organic because John's going to want some of that too, but he won't eat anything not organic." One must have standards. We understand, John. We understand." There's a King John and a Little John. That does make the story a little confusing especially considering that the King is weak and little. However, Little John is a huge behemoth of a man who eats Rhino for breakfast and a whole Lamb for desert. He uses pikes for tooth picks. John tried to take over in the 90s - the 1190s while his brother Richard was fighting in The Third Crusade. In fact, he almost succeeded but presumably failed because of Robin of Locksely's quiver. However, twenty years later John got to be king and in being so he signed the Magna Carta after a very successful rebellion forced his hand to move the quill and make the 'x' that tremors throughout history. Then after King John signed it, he said, "Alright? Are you all happy now? I signed it. I hope you enjoy your vinegar flavored victory. I hope your gall tastes very good." It was at that precise moment when Robin Hood threw the ninja star. "Yeah," Robin Hood said as Little John was releasing the katana on The Sheriff of Nottingham, "It tastes pretty, pretty good."
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