I, being Joel, formerly Randy for I'm now hiding under an alias, was in the employee lounge taking a nap while the second of three Presidential debate was playing on the TV. In my own personal "television", paper airplanes were flying through the air on a blue sky with clouds resembling licorice. Suddenly, one of them falls to the ground and is trampled by the giant feet of a Plaster of Paris Tyrannosaurs Rex. This gypsum dinosaur was in hot pursuit of a porcelain pterodactyl. The latter had a great advantage over the former. He could fly while the other only had a huge head and ridiculous arms. The calcium creature almost caught the "winged finger" made of Kaolinite [a mineral] when the program was canceled by someone waking me up. "What is it?"
"Senator Stevens doesn't stand a chance," he said. He, being formerly Jerry, "I'd be surprised if he carried a single state other than his own. The other one is a much better public speaker. He just seems like he's already won and that voting in general would just be a major waste of time. He's already prepared for his victory party already. The rest of the world is going to have to hold onto their seats from this day forwards."
"You woke me up just to tell me that?"
"No I woke you up because we have to ship these shirts in the morning and have very little time to do it. I'd hate to have to fire you, so I recommend you get productive very quickly and prove just how indispensable you really are."
"I've been working forty hours straight. I need sleep."
"It's not my fault everyone quit except one."
"I need to sleep."
"You can sleep plenty when you're fired. You don't want to be fired do you?"
"A monkey can do your job, and I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than a monkey. What's your answer? Fired or still hired? Your choice."
An hour later, while I'm in "the studio", I was working with the silk screen, coating it with an ink that's cousin is plastic, in order to make T-shirts I would never accept as a gift. I was thinking that the three worst words in the English language were an epic draw between "inking the screen" or "flooding the image". I'm also not a fan of the words, "Emulsion", "Sensitiser" or "Acetate" anymore.
I look at a nearby rubber spatula and wonder how creative I could get with it. "What ways can use a rubber spatula that was obviously never intended by the spatula makers." I dismiss the the train of thought until it re-arrived a few minutes later. I look at the acetate with the drawing of a dragon trying to discourage children from smoking. At first it looks like a normal drawing until it does something a normal picture wouldn't do. It starts talking. "Yes," it said, "Do it."
"No. He's my boss and my friend."
"Friends don't let friends make T-shirts in the dark."
"Why should I listen to you?"
"Because I'm a dragon."
"Only a drawing of one."
"But I'm still a dragon."
"You can't even convince children to stop smoking."
"Well it is a little hypocritical for a dragon to advocate not smoking, but surely I cannot be blamed for the ineffectiveness of my message."
"I'm going to get coffee."
I go to the back room, turn on the light and search for the instant coffee. Suddenly, the television turns itself on and one of the Presidential candidates from the debate says, "The dragon makes a good point."
"No he doesn't. He makes no point at all. He's just a dragon and not a very good one."
"A broken clock can still be right, even if only twice a day."
"Coincidence doesn't forgive the fact that he's a broken clock."
"You've been working for this company four years, and still you have to do the dog work while he gets to play the master and ask you "to go fetch". Well be a rover gone wild and bite the hand who doesn't really feed more than yanks at your choke-chain and says, 'bad dog'. He's just a tail wrongly assuming that he's waging the dog. Show him the correct order of things."
"I am pretty tired right now. Perhaps I'm hallucinating."
"Not a chance. Now do as I say."
"What about the coffee?"
"Forget about it. There's plenty of coffee in Tahiti and Fiji. Now go."
"Yes, sir."
I walked out of the employees lounge and walk into Jerry's office while he's going through some important documents. At first he doesn't see me, but it doesn't take him long to realize I'm here. "What do you want Randy?"
"Can I talk to you about something?"
"I'm kind of busy."
"It's very important. Can we make time for it?"
"Yeah sure," Jerry said, "Why are you holding a spatula."
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Senator Stevens doesn't stand a chance," he said. He, being formerly Jerry, "I'd be surprised if he carried a single state other than his own. The other one is a much better public speaker. He just seems like he's already won and that voting in general would just be a major waste of time. He's already prepared for his victory party already. The rest of the world is going to have to hold onto their seats from this day forwards."
"You woke me up just to tell me that?"
"No I woke you up because we have to ship these shirts in the morning and have very little time to do it. I'd hate to have to fire you, so I recommend you get productive very quickly and prove just how indispensable you really are."
"I've been working forty hours straight. I need sleep."
"It's not my fault everyone quit except one."
"I need to sleep."
"You can sleep plenty when you're fired. You don't want to be fired do you?"
"A monkey can do your job, and I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than a monkey. What's your answer? Fired or still hired? Your choice."
An hour later, while I'm in "the studio", I was working with the silk screen, coating it with an ink that's cousin is plastic, in order to make T-shirts I would never accept as a gift. I was thinking that the three worst words in the English language were an epic draw between "inking the screen" or "flooding the image". I'm also not a fan of the words, "Emulsion", "Sensitiser" or "Acetate" anymore.
I look at a nearby rubber spatula and wonder how creative I could get with it. "What ways can use a rubber spatula that was obviously never intended by the spatula makers." I dismiss the the train of thought until it re-arrived a few minutes later. I look at the acetate with the drawing of a dragon trying to discourage children from smoking. At first it looks like a normal drawing until it does something a normal picture wouldn't do. It starts talking. "Yes," it said, "Do it."
"No. He's my boss and my friend."
"Friends don't let friends make T-shirts in the dark."
"Why should I listen to you?"
"Because I'm a dragon."
"Only a drawing of one."
"But I'm still a dragon."
"You can't even convince children to stop smoking."
"Well it is a little hypocritical for a dragon to advocate not smoking, but surely I cannot be blamed for the ineffectiveness of my message."
"I'm going to get coffee."
I go to the back room, turn on the light and search for the instant coffee. Suddenly, the television turns itself on and one of the Presidential candidates from the debate says, "The dragon makes a good point."
"No he doesn't. He makes no point at all. He's just a dragon and not a very good one."
"A broken clock can still be right, even if only twice a day."
"Coincidence doesn't forgive the fact that he's a broken clock."
"You've been working for this company four years, and still you have to do the dog work while he gets to play the master and ask you "to go fetch". Well be a rover gone wild and bite the hand who doesn't really feed more than yanks at your choke-chain and says, 'bad dog'. He's just a tail wrongly assuming that he's waging the dog. Show him the correct order of things."
"I am pretty tired right now. Perhaps I'm hallucinating."
"Not a chance. Now do as I say."
"What about the coffee?"
"Forget about it. There's plenty of coffee in Tahiti and Fiji. Now go."
"Yes, sir."
I walked out of the employees lounge and walk into Jerry's office while he's going through some important documents. At first he doesn't see me, but it doesn't take him long to realize I'm here. "What do you want Randy?"
"Can I talk to you about something?"
"I'm kind of busy."
"It's very important. Can we make time for it?"
"Yeah sure," Jerry said, "Why are you holding a spatula."
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."
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