Thursday, November 25, 2010

A Soviet DeLorian

This scene is set in1985. A man, scientist type, is working in his lab on several equations, working them out on his blackboard when the following happened. He is approached by a prominent general who makes the following request of him (once they exchanged pleasantries such as "How are things? How's the family? Learn to putt a par 3 yet (and so on). The General says, "I need to talk to you about something."
"Something 'of the utmost importance'," he asks with a minor chuckle
"As per usual," The General says, "I require this to remain confidential."

"What is it you want to talk about?"
"Has you know the #1 movie at the box office is currently Back to the Future. President Reagen himself actually screened the movie in The White House, and loved it. In fact when he watched it he was so amused by the fact that Dr. Emmett Brown couldn't believe an actor could become president he had the projectionist stop and rewind the film in order to replay the scene. Personally I didn't care for the president doing this because I, too, was wrapped up in the story. However he's the president so what can you say, right?"
"What does this have to do with anything?"
"Have you seen the movie?"
"Yes," The Scientist admitted, "I saw it with my nephew and niece. We loved it."
"Yes," The General says, "So you know what the movie is about so I don't need to explain anything, which can now lead me too my point."
"Which is what, sir?"
"As you know The Soviet Union is a very closed society. We don't really know what they do and they won't tell us. Quieting fears and suspicions is quite difficult if you don't know exactly what is you're trying to quiet in the first place."
"I don't understand the connection between the USSR and Back to the Future, sir."
"After the White House premiere I was talking to the President personally. As I mentioned before he loved the movie but there was an aspect of it that greatly troubled him."
"What aspect was that sir?"
"You know how we've spent billions of dollars trying to get the Strategic Defense Initiative, a.k.a. Star Wars, going in order to prevent nuclear war from outer space."
"Yes," The Scientist says as he walks to his desk to sit down, "I remember."
"Well what if The Soviets are doing the exact same thing. Except instead of trying to coordinate satellites in space to shoot down ballistics they've done the next best thing."
"What's the next best thing to that?"
"Be able to take out the enemy before he's even created," The General said, "It'll be like The Terminator but with nations, instead of future messianic figures battling robotic Gogs and Magog's. If the USSR had access to a time machine of their own they'd be able to turn the entire world into a member of the Soviet Bloc without a single shot fired. Moscow would be the world capital of the world like Babylon was during the Tower of Babel. And worst of all we wouldn't be able to do anything about it because we'd never even know that time was changed at all. How could we?"
"Are you seriously proposing that the Russians might be building a time machine of their own?"
"We don't know. That's the scary part. We certainly don't have any defenses against a meddling time traveler, even it be a reluctant one like Marty McFly, so it would be a brilliant thing to do if it can be done. If The Soviets built a time traveling Delorian of their own and sent their own version of a Marty McFly to let's say 1937 to assassinate Reagan on the set of "Love is on the Air" what secret service man could stop him. It's hard to dodge a bullet that was fired fifty years ago. That realization is what bothered the president and that's why I'm here. How vulnerable are we to the Machiavellian tactics of an unethical time traveler?"
"Practically or hypothetically?"
"Whichever one will allow them to retroactively win The Cold War."
"Hypothetically we're very vulnerable to a breach in the space-time continuum. That is, unless we had a time machine of our own as well. If we had one ourselves we might be able to stop Soviet aggression against causality through a pact of mutually assured destruction. With a DeLorian of our own we could have a deterrent against abusing time travel like we have against full out nuclear war."
"And if we can't produce a DeLorian of our own before they do?"
"Time travel is strictly hypothetical. It can't be done. At least not with a human being. Heck, not even with a dog or the flea biting his neck. Not unless you can go faster than light, which nothing can. The universe seems well adept at preventing time travelers except on the quantum level," suddenly The Scientist realizes something, "Except..."
"Except what?"
"If they could properly manage time dilation."
"Time dilation?"
"Einstein proved that the only constant in the universe is light. That time, like space, varies from place to place, flowing at different rates. If The Soviets could figure out where time was, for lack of a better word, most sensitive to exploitation, perhaps it would be possible to send a time traveler back, one way, provided they survive the journey. However surviving the journey would probably be impossible. It's unlikely that a time traveler would succeed in changing the past to redesign the future."
"So what should I tell President Reagen?"
"General,
tell President Mikhail Romanov that if The Japanese were building a time machine we would know about it. He need not worry. The Soviet Oblast of America and the space-time continuum will be fine."

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