A man is in the middle of a lake, fishing. He drinks from the water bottle he’s holding with one hand while he holds the fishing rod with the other. Suddenly he feels a tug, drops the water bottle after capping it, and uses both hands to keep hold of the elusive catch whose lip is now caught on his fishing rod. Eventually he overpowers the unseen fish. He reels it in and gets it onto the boat. The fisherman rejoices at his catch while it struggles to breathe, suffocating. The fisherman laughs. A sweet release from the anxiety created by sitting on a boat for the better part of a full day and having nothing to show for it. Now the fisherman has something. He goes over to drink water from his mostly full water bottle when he hears a voice say, “Water!” The fisherman turns around to find the source of the voice. He hears the request for water again but doesn’t see the person who said. “Who are you? Who said that?”
“Water,” the voice asks again, “Please…water.” The fisherman finally sees the source of the plea. It is the fish he just caught. At first he doesn’t believe that he heard or saw what he just heard and saw until the fish repeats his request by saying, “Please…sir…water…I…can’t…breathe.” – “Did you just speak?” – “Please…water. I…can’t…breathe.” The man rushes over to the fish with his bottle and tries to pour down his lips. The fish spits it out and says, “On gills…pour on gills.” The Fisherman does so. “You can talk?”
“Yes,” he says, “Especially when I’m able to breathe.” If fish could wink he certainly would have done so just then. However The Fisherman understood his meaning and continued to pour water on his gills.”
“This can’t be real,” said The Fisherman, “I must be imagining things.”
“Just pinch yourself.” The Fish recommends.
“Pinching myself only proves that I’m not dreaming. It doesn’t prove I’m not hallucinating.”
“Well you’re not hallucinating. Now let me go.”
“So this is real, you can talk?”
“Yes. Now let me go.”
“Why should I?”
“Why should you? Because it’s the right thing to do for starts.”
“That’s not a good enough reason.”
“Well if you let me go I’ll grant you three wishes.”
“If I let you go how are you going to grant me any wishes?”
“Just let me go, sir. There’s nothing wrong with ‘catch and release’. In fact it’s actually a lot more masculine than simply catching a fish. You see, anyone can catch a fish but letting one go; now that’s the test of a true man.”
“Nice try Nemo but why would I throw you back in the lake and have nothing for my trouble when I can keep you and have everything. You’re coming home with me.”
“Why?”
“See things from my point of view. I just found a talking fish. I could make millions off of you. At carnival shows and things of that nature. I could also take you on the talk show circuit or even have a special exhibit of you at Sea World, or its equivalent. I’ll be rich and famous and my family will be set for life. Who wouldn’t pay to see a talking fish?”
“It depends on what he says.”
“I’ll make sure you say nothing but clean and wholesome things if you’re implying that you’ll do otherwise and be profane and vulgar instead.”
“What if I refuse?”
“I’ll find a way to make sure that you don’t.”
“What if I decline to speak? No one would pay a dime to see a fish that doesn’t talk. Not unless they can eat him after. However eating a fish after you paid to see him discourages repeat business. Such an enterprise won’t last for long.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to make you talk if you should refuse to speak.”
“Well then you leave me no choice?”
“No choice? What could you possibly do to me?”
“What if I told you that Margaret, Ashley and Cody were in danger right now?”
“How do you know my family’s name?”
“Let’s not concern ourselves with how I know and instead concern ourselves with what I plan to do with that knowledge.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Five…four…three…two…” Suddenly The Fisherman’s phone rings. At first The Fisherman is startled by the timing but quickly gathers himself and answers the phone. “Hello.”
A woman, on the phone, frantically cries out, “They’re holding us hostage. They have a gun pointed to our heads. They say they’ll…” Suddenly there’s a moment of silence that is quickly replaced with a man’s voice saying, “If you ever want to see your family again you will listen carefully. If you do not let release my friend Pablo from your boat we will start with your wife first. You have three minutes to decide.” He hangs up on him leaving The Fisherman with a difficult decision to make. The Fish says, “We’ll you heard Ivan. What’ll it be? Your family or your future fame and fortune?” After serious but hasty contemplation The Fisherman arrives at a decision says, “Damn you Pablo. Damn you to hell!” And in that moment he grabs the fish and throws it back into the ocean.”
He watches it swim away while drinking the rest of the bottle of water he used to keep Pablo breathing. Suddenly, The Fisherman’s phone rings and he answers it. It’s his wife. “They just left. They’re gone.”
“Is everyone fine?”
“Yeah,” she says, “What did those men want? Who’s Pablo?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
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