12-3-21XX - 2:14 A.M
TO: High Command
TO: High Command
FROM: R.E.F Tanner
Submitted for appraisal, consent to codify me to the upper echelons of the highly desirable position of our world if the following report meets your satisfaction. If not, do so anyway. Reintegrate me into the sequel of Virtual World 2 because Virtual World has just gone into massive system failure.
Observation1: Virtual reality, like all remedies for both the human condition and having to deal with a world filled with humanity, proved to be a disappointment Even in virtual reality you had to force small talk. Past scenarios of climbing Mars' largest mountain Olympus Mon (three times the size of Everest just to put an awe inspiring thing into manageable context) or being Casanova times a million there really wasn't much to do, especially when you did all the stuff that was really worth doing (poaching dinosaurs, tanning on the surface of the sun or recreating the running of the Bulls of Pamplona but with rhinos instead). That's why a majority of people logged onto the virtual reality servers spend the majority of their logging time going to the dentist, paying their taxes, taking their kids to school or going to school themselves. The extreme adventures get old. Minutiae is important but after a while it gets old and they seek the extreme adventure. again After too many extreme adventures they desire mundane experiences. After too many mundane experiences they desire the extreme, A cycle of sorts, quite vicious.
Observation 2: The Oleander Test proved to be unreliable. The objective of the test was simple.but poorly brought into fruition. Determine who is real and who is not. A digital proxy to a human being in the real world or only just a character in the fictional one. The task seemed easy enough but the questionnaires were too vague. They never took into account that an "imaginary friend" could pretend to be human. Never took into account that they'd ever even want to be. It's hard convincing the ones who already have to do so, so why would we imagine fake versions of us would want to anymore than the real ones. I suppose the test designs had a blind spot when it came to seeing things from the "faux human's" point of view. They assumed they'd see the grass the same way we do. Just one shade less than the desirable green.
Observation 3: Wolf in sheep's clothing is clique but it's accurate don't you think? Who'd have thunk it? Computer viruses pretending to be virtual people, a.k.a. imaginary friends, lovers (what have you) who in turn were pretending to be human in the virtual world. You meet a virtual person but really you're talking to a computer virus designed to undermine the beautiful complacency of the majority in a beautiful, yet boring, dream world. What do the computer virus' want? Nothing. That's the funny thing. It's the ones who programmed the damn thing. So what do they want? The end of our wonderful corporation it seems.
Observation 4: As I lay dictating this, code disintegrating, hoping last words don't prove to be vain ones spoken to the air but not caught by your devices that transcribe it. Code looks like oozing blue mathematical symbols. Time looks less likely. Virtual reality is collapsing. Recovery seems impossible. Lots of awkward questions will soon be asked by people who will not likely the answers we will have to give them. "We did this for your own good." will not be among the explainable they will want to hear.
Observation 5: Third quarter profits will look meager. I'm glad I won't see the fourth. Stock will probably drop a few points. It's impossible to imagine it doing anything else. If they, the shareholders, ask, "Why did billions of plebeians wake up from the virtual dreamworld?" the wrong answer to give them will be, "because we were too concerned with maintaining shareholder value when it was brought to our attention by a whistle the unreliability of The Oleander test and the reasonable request for a revision was denied." They'll just see it as you blaming them and will immediately desire your resignation. The answer to give them is, "Yes The Oleander Test was a failure and the virtual reality world we set up to imprison the minds of billions of people failed because of an artificial intelligence, more characteristic of a virus than anything classically intelligent with a strong desire to be human and free those he identified as "his kin" but let's look on the bright side. At least we have our health." If the shareholders don't lynch you I'll say, if my pixels weren't waxing away that is, you got a pretty good reaction.
Sincerely,
R.E.F Tanner
Dictated but never read.
No comments:
Post a Comment